Wednesday, March 12, 2014

My Price

"But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners” Romans 5:8 NLT
I am very much a planner, in every sense of the fashion. Color codes, schedules, labels are like my drug of choice; I love to organize. In 2011 Fred and I were in premarital classes at church, but not yet engaged. So one day on the way to lunch from church I asked, “What else do we need to do before getting engaged?” (I was totally fishing for a timeline.. I told you I was a planner) Fred mentioned two things, save up money to buy a ring and save up money to give my parents in exchange for me.

Confusion! Exchange? That doesn’t sound right. I knew about saving up money for a ring (I had some of those picked out... I was ready), but giving my parents money in exchange for me? I wasn’t really sure of what that meant or what that looked like. I even thought, only to myself, that the “exchange” kinda sounded like slavery... Just saying… So I asked Fred “What do you mean give my parents money in exchange for me? Fred went on to say that in his Kenyan culture you would give a gift to the parents of the bride when you became engaged based on what you think your bride is worth, as a blessing and an offering for raising her. That it was meant to be a compliment.

It didn’t sound so bad after all… except I was terrified to find out how much he thought I was worth. Too low- would be awkward and make me feel devalued, too high- who knows when we would be able to afford to get married. And I was in planning mode! I never did ask the amount, and still to this day I’m still not sure I want to know.

I had two thoughts about the “bride price” he wanted to pay for me. The first, which I mentioned to him, is that I had a desire to be a gift to him. I wanted to be a blessing to Fred. I desired to be his helper, which in my mind didn’t fit with having to pay my worth to my parents.

The second I didn’t mention and kept to myself, is that I had a fear. I was afraid that one day he would regret the “price” he paid for me. That maybe he would want a refund or exchange. That somehow it would come to play in a disagreement or argument “I should have never paid your parents that much.” I feared later it would be a topic of hurt.

Now, if you have met Fred for more than 2 minutes, you would know that these thoughts of mine are SOOOOO far from his character and irrational. I realized I was being insecure…I’m happy to say that Fred saved up money for that ring, and I was able to plan that wedding.  And, no he never paid the bride price to my parents, although my mom still insists “they could have used that money”!  (of course she is joking!)

How much do you think someone would be willing to pay to be in a relationship with you?   What are you worth?  The Bible says that God loved you so much, he paid the ultimate price, the life of His one and only son in exchange for you.  Jesus died on a cross, paying the debt for our sins, so that we could be “His bride”.  Sistah’s, let’s not miss the compliment!  Let’s not be insecure!  Let’s walk in confidence knowing that the King of Kings has chosen us to be His forever and ever.  Amen.

Question:  What else could God do to show you how much you are worth to Him?  

-- Kelsey Amusavi

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